Tuesday, May 27, 2014
If someone is to watch me on a big screen movie, they would probably say that I'm B-O-R-I-N-G! Nowadays, my day consist of waking up before dawn, changing diapers, feeding a baby, cleaning, cooking, and anything else that's found in a job description of a "stay at home mom". I stay home all day and repeat the cycle over and over again until bed time. It hasn't always been like this. About two years ago, I was more exciting, and fun! Date nights with my husband, bike riding for hours, on the go whenever and wherever our hearts desired. But, I will not trade this stage of my life for anything. I do miss the old days, but today brings me a new and different joy in life.
Before adding a baby into my life, I realize how much I placed God in the back burner. My thoughts were " Life is good, nothing is going wrong, I don't need to go to God in prayer." That all changed when God placed a desire in my heart for a baby. My husband and I prayed hard and long to have a baby. There were plenty of teary and doubtful nights, and once in a while I will have days of contentment. Those days is when I'm reminded that God's grace continues to find me.
Often, I get pulled in the thought cycle of life is boring, life is tough, I wish I have this or that. I'm pulled to the point that I'm shaken by worries and doubts, and that's when I stop. Only when I stop that I'm reminded of who God is and all that He has done for me, to which all I don't deserve. I am reminded of His grace that continues to find me whenever I look to the cross where He gave me the most precious gift of all, eternal life in Him. To have Jesus is enough, yet He continues to find joy by giving me more than I could ask for, like a baby to hold and cherish.
So, from an outsider looking in, my life may be boring but I don't think it is. I am exactly where God wants me and in that I find joy. Yes, there are days where it's tough and that's when I stop. "Be still and know that I am God" as Psalm 46:10 says. So, as I continue this mama journey, I will also continue to exalt the One whose grace continues to find me.